Submitted by Chainsaw Aardvark on Fri, 2008-07-04 23:54.
The lab has been a bit slow as of late. However, I do think there is some quality to back up that intrest. Creating a literary work in the 2nd person voice isn't an easy undertaking.
Given how its set up, giving each segment its own page makes sense, but it would seem to me format might benefit from numbered paragraphs and double column layout to keep things clean. Perhaps either playing with the margins or the creation of three columns would allow a player to have the story, illustration/choices, and space for tracking combat & characters all on one page.
While we are a mostly amateur community, there is one point in the book that I would argue is unprofessional. Ettiquite around fan groups seems to disprove of fanfic characters having sex with those in the established cannon - so the dating Rebbecca seems a little out of place. (and more so in a 2nd person work) The implications and special reward for male characters seems either immature, or perhaps a bit "squicky" for some. From a purely game point, it also seems a bit unfair. (+30 points) I'm also pretty sure its out of character for Mrs. Chambers as well.
Do excuse me for paying so much attention to one little aspect. Much of the book is very good, which makes the poor parts stand out all the more. My only other real complaint is that you could use a bit more detail. Not every reader is going to be perfectly familiar with every RE game, and more descriptions of the environment can really add to the dark atmosphere. Even a few lines mentioning flickering lights and shadows in the STARS briefing room, or seeing fellow officers in disheveled uniforms and distracted adds to the foreboding spirit.
It was a hybrid chose your adventure/dice combat book that got me into role playing in the first place. (Car Wars: Green Circle Blues to be specific) I'm always glad to see people making new ones. Good luck with the project.
There is a fine line between hobby and obsession. I seem to have lost sight of it some time ago.
Nice effort
The lab has been a bit slow as of late. However, I do think there is some quality to back up that intrest. Creating a literary work in the 2nd person voice isn't an easy undertaking.
Given how its set up, giving each segment its own page makes sense, but it would seem to me format might benefit from numbered paragraphs and double column layout to keep things clean. Perhaps either playing with the margins or the creation of three columns would allow a player to have the story, illustration/choices, and space for tracking combat & characters all on one page.
While we are a mostly amateur community, there is one point in the book that I would argue is unprofessional. Ettiquite around fan groups seems to disprove of fanfic characters having sex with those in the established cannon - so the dating Rebbecca seems a little out of place. (and more so in a 2nd person work) The implications and special reward for male characters seems either immature, or perhaps a bit "squicky" for some. From a purely game point, it also seems a bit unfair. (+30 points) I'm also pretty sure its out of character for Mrs. Chambers as well.
Do excuse me for paying so much attention to one little aspect. Much of the book is very good, which makes the poor parts stand out all the more. My only other real complaint is that you could use a bit more detail. Not every reader is going to be perfectly familiar with every RE game, and more descriptions of the environment can really add to the dark atmosphere. Even a few lines mentioning flickering lights and shadows in the STARS briefing room, or seeing fellow officers in disheveled uniforms and distracted adds to the foreboding spirit.
It was a hybrid chose your adventure/dice combat book that got me into role playing in the first place. (Car Wars: Green Circle Blues to be specific) I'm always glad to see people making new ones. Good luck with the project.
There is a fine line between hobby and obsession. I seem to have lost sight of it some time ago.