Alas the dangers of P2P. Although I have Norton installed, there is only so much it can do. So when my hard drive very nearly stopped responding altogether, I just reformatted it and got on with my life. It's become almost normal at this point. All my important files were backed up or spread out over the three other computers on the network, so it hardly seems like an inconvenience anymore.
So I'm going through my most recent archives and backups and I realize that files I haven't changed but still like, you know, for reference, aren't on them, so I got out my old archives, and I found this really strange file.
It seems that some friends were putting together a fantasy setting, and started a forum for it, and someone had posted that the setting was kind of stock. His exact words were, "I'm not saying that the setting should be a donut shaped world where pixie paladins ride seahorses and fend off the advancing tide of flumphs while the sun never sets, but..."
Well my friends lost interest in the project. I guess it was boring. And I wrote this setting, to "explore the other idea that came out of that forum". Rereading what I wrote I thought it was hillarious and I thought that some of you might play Clinton R. Nixon's Paladin, so you might appreciate it.
Backdrop
A torus shaped world with the sun in the center. It is always day. A horde of flumphs roams across the land making everything cute. I’m calling the world Mallios for now. Its inhabitants are pixies, pookas, humans, dwarves, hobbits, elves, and cute spiky-haired trolls. I suppose there should also be a fair amount of Wind in the Willows or Narnia-style talking animals.
Organization faith and charter
The Fraternity of the Grim Blade believes that cuteness detracts from seriousness and significance. The brothers and sisters of the order fight the onslaught of cuteness with wicked blades. They are heroes to the masses. They travel the land, fighting ridiculousness wherever it hides.
Every knight has a flying stead, usually a pretty bird or a seahorse with bumblebee wings, or a unicorn pegasus. Every brother of the blade must describe his mount, taking special care to describe how pretty it is.
Every knight has a grim blade. Sketch it. Make sure it looks nasty, with lots of sharp edges, serrations and pointy bits.
Most knights are pixies. Pixies have butterfly wings. Make sure when you describe your knight that you take special care to describe how pretty your wings are.
Some knights are pookas. Pookas have a useful animal trait, puppy dog nose, ducky wings, kitten eyes, bunny ears, etc. Make sure you describe what its good for, and how pretty you are because of your animal feature.
Code
Minor sins
Being silly
Encouraging silliness
Rewarding cuteness
Major sins
Sparing a flumph
Not taking something seriously because of its appearance
Unforgivable sins
Using one's own cuteness to gain an advantage (not even to get a date)
Deformities
One special rule for this game is that when you earn a mark for committing a sin, it isn’t a deformity. You must pick a part of your body that is henceforth amazingly cute, like so much so that it distracts NPCs. Say, for example, that you are playing and your paladin needs animus quickly. Say, his nemesis, a troll warlord, Manan, is riding over the horizon on a beautiful dragon. The GM sees you in need and gives you an opportunity to sin. An adorable child runs up screaming about flumphs overrunning his village. Your knight quickly laughs at the kid, pinches him on the cheek and says, “Aw, aren’t you the cutest thing.” That should be worth a good 8 cute anima. In committing this sin, you fail the deformity roll, and gain a deformity. You decide your butt. From henceforth, your butt is super cute. A level 1 deformity people will feel compelled to mention. A level 3 deformity people will feel compelled to interact with (pinching you on the butt). A level 5 deformity will cause a lot of trouble. Start wearing a cloak.
Arms
The Wicked Blade
Power
First off, anima in this game is not divided into light and dark. It is divided into grim and cute. Grim anima is the good stuff. Cute anima is evil. You get it from committing the sins above.
Anima can be used to:
Perform amazing feats of martial prowess
Leave carnage in your wake
Tell when someone is trying to trick you
Dim colors, darken lights, summon fog or smoke
Illuminate, dispel fog or smoke
Scare the bejeezus out of something (It will be particularly entertaining when the PCs use cute anima to scare things)